In Memoriam INA' (Grandmother) (reproduced from 2007)

3.10.07, 2am- she slipped away peacefully in her sleep. It’s her freedom, at long last. She was confined to bed for 3 months, after suffering a stroke on 29 June 2007. There’s no final good bye from me to her, and yet I felt that I did say my goodbye. In her final days of strength when I met her a few times, I spent the time viewing her from a different angle. She seemed mellower and smiled more than she ever did in at least 30 years of my memories of her. She was a tough woman, hardened by the hardships of the past. She ruled her family with iron hands, never once showing any 'weak' emotion. I didn’t see her when she was bedridden, when she had to depend on her family members for simple tasks. So in my memories she IS a strong woman, if not physically, emotionally and in spirit. I didn’t shed any tears because I felt she would have disapproved of that. But I did have pain in my heart, knowing I’ll never ever see her again in this life. She, our grandma, the one we called ‘ina’ was gone. Our last link to the past, to chants and rituals and many forgotten traditions. From afar I sent her prayers, and yellow memories, because yellow is the colour I associate most with her. Gone was ina'. In the other world, rest in peace.