My brother, obviously fed up with the world, said "everyone is a hypocrite", and I think he means that people, more often then not, do not really say what they think, especially when what they think is not popular, and agree to others even when they know they can't do that. One can be a wonderful friend, a tough boss, a gentle parent, an outspoken subordinate, an agreeable colleague; one can be anything depending on the situation. Does that make one a hypocrite? It depends.
I look at people as multifaceted beings though. We all have in us the qualities of being gentle, tough, nasty, compromising, honest, angry, patient...and those qualities take turn appearing in us. That's why I think I sometimes get puzzled by people. I often wonder why was it that yesterday this person said something, and today they say something else? Could the person be a liar? Tough question. Maybe it's just the other facet showing its side. And the person could be just plain ignorant that they are doing that.
Our multifacetedness confuses others, as we are confused by theirs. After all, human beings are complicated. I guess that's why it helps when people communicate effectively. To be tactful when expressing anger, for instance. Maybe despite the multifacetedness, there is one facet of every person that is more prominent. The one that people will know is constant, that makes up the person's basic personality even when their other facets show.
No matter what, as a friend once said, "if they are 10 qualities of a person, and only one seems good, concentrate on that one quality so you don't end up judging the person". I agree.
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TataJane
2 comments:
but nowadays, honesty is not always the best policy
that's true about something basic about the person that wants to make us go near them or stay away! :) I heard on oprah the other day, she quoted suze orman saying, 'people will always show you who they are' during her interview with 6 women who found out about their husbands' double-life. i think it's best to always go with your own instincts when judging the character in front of you... kalau ada something2 yang tidak baik, terkeluar juga tu nanti! :)
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