I choose to be...

I really like this expression. You can add any adjective at the end of it and often in my mind, I add the word HAPPY. Well, it's not always true. Sometimes I am not as happy as I want to be but I try to trick my mind in believing that I am. Often, it works.

You make a choice between something positive and negative, and if you can make the positive choice win, you win too. It's not always easy because sometimes there are things that bother you so much it is almost impossible to stay positive. But trying makes a difference. Always.

Like this morning. I ran over a stray dog that came running right in front while I was doing 80km/hr. Braking wasn't an option because there were cars behind that would surely knock into me should I had stopped. The dog didn't die. But my dear car suffered quite a serious damage. I was shaken and the accident was about to affect my mood adversely. Thank goodness I remembered what I have always believed in. That little accidents happen so as to avoid big accidents. Why, in the past two days I have came across four bad accidents anyway-not something very surprising in Malaysia during the festival seasons. And so I convinced myself that it could have been worse, and that by suffering this minor accident, I have avoided the worst.

I don't feel so good about it, but at least I have managed to avoid brooding it. I'm choosing to be thankful for being alive and well. We might not have choices over things that happen, but we have choices over how to react on them.

A winner

I was at the library trying so hard to concentrate on my studies. I was distracted but that wasn't news to me. I often found myself reading the same page after what seemed like ages. Opposite me was a young man whose composure hadn't changed since hours ago. He looked hard at work, with books all over his desk, but never once lost his focus. From the digital English dictionary that he consulted every so often, I deduced that English wasn't his first language. And all the scribbles he made on his papers showed how hard he must be working. And yet he went through the process as if it was not a struggle at all. A few days I saw him in the library. Always with the same wonderful concentration for hours and hours. Every day not once did I see him leave his desk, unlike me who had to walk around every hour to regain my focus. And I told myself "this one is a winner".