My heart bleeds for two people that I care deeply about. When they were really young, they were victims of physical and emotional abuse from a person that they vaguely remember as their father. The younger of the two doesn't remember much. The only thing that puzzles him is why he gets a cold feet when looking at knives. He asked me tonight what happened that made him that way. Fighting tears, I told him truthfully that the person they once called Dad once too often threatened them-he, his brother, and his mother with knives. Threatened to hurt them, or even to kill them. He finally understood why and opened up- he told me how his brother told him what he remembers. Only bad memories of being beaten up and shouted at and nothing much. The younger one finally understood that his parents split for a reason that was a matter of life and death.
The brother doesn't express his feelings at all. He avoids talking and going out as much as he can. The computer is his consolation. He prefers that to socializing. He seems to want to shut everyone out which is really painful. I wish he would talk, and let go. But how do you make a 15 year old open up? He is a sensitive person, a good person basically, but a very wounded one. His surface appearance is very misleading. He looks happy and normal, and his good looks does him good. But I can feel that deep down he is a mess. How I want to pull him out of that mess. How I want to see him laugh without reservation. How I want him to be happy like he deserves to.
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