My new gadget

My i-pad 2. I've been coveting this one for months. Not particularly technology-savvy, I don't normally care much for new gadgets. But this one, I really felt that I have to have it. In my imagination, this thing will be useful to me in many ways. For one thing, there are times when I have to attend a formal function involving vvips, and that means having to wait a long time for their arrival. What could be more useful than an i-pad in such circumstances? Besides, the size is perfect for me who just can't bear straining my eyes looking at tiny screens. Because of its perfect size, it fits in my handbag beautifully. I can take it anywhere, anytime. Most of all, I can access all the e-books I want to read, and read comfortably. Yay! I don't have to buy so many books anymore (we'll see if this one works as well as I imagine it to be)

Scared

I don't know what to expect this time. The pain is not bad now, and not even there all the time. But the tumor is big enough to have to be removed. Not new to the procedure, I know what will go on in the operation theater. I know I'll have to go under, and at this point that is the scariest thing in my mind. The throat and shoulder blades pain due to the gases post-op, also do not make for pleasant memory.

16 years ago, when I had to go through the same operation, I was in a lot of pain. So going under the knife was like a salvation. Even having an ovary removed then did not seem to be so much a of a big deal because my priority was to be out of the maddening pain. Plus I was way younger. A 20 something body could get back to in shape in no time.

I am not 20-something anymore. Will I get back in shape as fast as I would like to? Will my hormones be affected that I'll be left struggling with mood swings and depression? Even knowing that positive thinking is powerful can't seem to get rid of my fear. Most of all, I am scared of the unknown. What will they find inside me apart from the tumor revealed on the scan? Let them find nothing else please. I do hope that they won't have to remove the whole ovary this time.

I'm faced with the biggest task ever. To overcome this fear. Oh yes I pray. But I am still scared. I hope by writing this I won't feel so scared anymore.

Cupcake Therapy

Last Christmas I didn't get to bake at all. I thought I had forgotten how to. But the baking idleness didn't last long. With a 10 yr old girl who's so into cake decorating in the family, how can a mom not feel guilty if she doesn't encourage the 'talent'?

So I bought us an oven. A medium sized one with basic function but functional nonetheless. And starting last Easter, we started cupcake baking again. I've almost forgotten how therapeutic it can be. Playing with fondant as if it is a clay dough, my girl patiently created her 'masterpieces'. We look for reasons to bake: Easter gathering with the family, fullmoon of the latest addition to the family members, somebody's birthday. We might never reach the professional level, but we are becoming better as time goes by...and definitely happy offering our signature cupcakes to family and friends.

Back on track with the diet

It took gaining all those lost kilos to actually get me back on track with my diet. The whole of 2010, I practically 'forgot' to count kalories. Subconsciously I remembered, but the mind was always so clever to deny the necessity of doing it. Not surprisingly, I gained most of the eight kgs that I lost in 2009. What can I say? Malaysian food are just too tempting. You step in a shop areas and wafting aromas of food embrace you straight away.

Four months into 2011- I forced myself to go back to the healthy diet that I used to adhere to strictly in 2009. After all, I've been telling myself to do it since the dawn of 2011. It was such a big challenge. A battle that I constantly lost. Then two of my brothers started losing weight-really lose weight. One of them lost 12kgs in a month. His secret? No rice. Strictly no rice. Awww...my favourite staple. And so after celebrating the end of semester in style with my colleagues, I vowed to be off-rice. That was two weeks ago. Well, I cheated 3 times. Took a little bit of rice for lunch. Just a few tablespoonfuls.

The results? Still have a long way to go but losing 2 kg in 2 weeks gives me a nice feeling. I feel more motivated now. Hoping that this determination lasts...

Life is still beautiful

Sometimes it feels that the only choice you have is "no choice". Like when your doctor tells you that you are suffering from a health problem that can only be fixed with some surgical procedures. Scary but what choice do you have? I guess one can choose to still be happy about life, because when you look around you, there are countless beautiful things to remind you that not only bad things happen, but also good. To everyone. We all have our share of joy and sorrow in different ways. And from them we learn and grow. It is unpleasant to be in a "no choice" situation, of any type, but "this too shall pass". Smile, tough it out, and remember life is still beautiful no matter what.

Take time to smell the flowers

Life is busy indeed. It's hard to believe that it's already March. It feels like yesterday when I welcomed 2011. Looking at the list of tasks in front of me, I think I could easily go insane if I don't take time to relax and unwind.

So days like yesterday are good for me. Simply being with the family, taking a lazy stroll in the wildlife park, enjoying nature. Even if I can't really appreciate animals, I definitely can appreciate plants. I stopped to scrutinize every plant by the roadside, to take pictures of those that appeal to me. The little yellow flower that bravely survived amid the withering ones. The dying white flower with long stem (and I don't even know its name). The native leaves that I know my people use to wrap rice in. Everything is fascinating.


Two hours of leisurely stroll did me good. My faith in life is restored. As simple as that. And I remind myself again "take time to smell the flowers".

amazing lesson

I was having my regular foot massage with my favourite masseur, Effa, at her shop a few blocks away from my place. (This lady gives the best massage, gentle but firm, attacking areas of your foot that are problematic. Glad I discovered her a few months ago. I can now say "bye bye" to other masseurs who seem to be practising their skills on one's feet rather than know what they do).

Anyway, while having the massage, I had a headache that had lasted for the whole day. My own cultural diagnosis of it was it was a "cold-headache" or "wind-headache" to be more literal. The night before, after coming back from a friend's bbq on the evening, I washed my hair and fell asleep with my hair wet while putting my little boy to bed. This kind of headache is dull and makes your head feel heavy.

While Effa was giving me the massage, her air-cond guy came over. She told me the guy could press points on the head and make the headache go away. She asked me whether I'd like his help to do that. Hesitating, I looked at the guy. "Seems genuine and sincere", was my impression. I asked him whether he would mind, and he asked me whether I could stand the pain. I said "yes" and he set to work. He put his fingers through my hair on the crown of my head, gave a quick press on certain points, gathered my hair on his fingers and tugged! Something cracked, there was an uncomfortable sensation for a few seconds, then...nothing. And then it happened...I shook my head, and the pain seemed to be less. Seconds later, I sweated profusely, and the headache was totally gone.

Amazed, I asked him how did he do it. He simply replied that he learned from his master 'sifu', a Buddhist guru. I asked him if there's any other thing he could teach me. So here's what he taught me.

When you have a fever, take 7 grains of rice, two slices of ginger (unspecified size), and a pinch of salt. Mix them with a glass of warm water, steep for a while, and drink the water. The fever will soon go away.

When I asked him "why 7?", he gave me a look that said "why do you have to ask so many questions?", so I kept silent. At home, I prepared his 'medicine', had it, and guess what? It worked!