Tuesday, February 28, 2012

so hit the bottom of the well if you have to,women



Remember what John Gray (Mars & Venus) says about women, well, and wave? Sometimes I forgot, but when the wave comes over me and I felt like I am hitting the bottom of the well, I remember, and I am glad I understand what is going on now. If I hadn't read his book, I would still be struggling to understand my ups and downs.

Wave is like a woman's natural cycle of ability to give and receive love. When she feels loved and full of energy, the wave is stable and she can give her love fully. But when she doesn't receive the same amount of love, support and understanding as she gives, that's when the wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. She needs to hit the bottom of the well before she is rejuvenated and able to give unconditionally again. This is when the man's role is very important. He needs to support her in such times, not by giving solutions, but simply by listening, and assuring her of his love.

Gray says that men find this hard to understand and are often feel threatened when women 'fall into their wells'. Men do not understand women's need to be assured of love but surprisingly giving those simple gestures may save the relationship. If a woman doesn't get to experience the cycle in a natural way, and tries to act like everything is normal all the time, she would eventually feel numb, has no more to give and that can eventually break a relationship.

So, feeling like doomsday is coming is normal. If your man understood this, that would be a bonus. If not, bear with it and say 'tis too shall pass'.

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